New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
