jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
