Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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