I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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