She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
