I am puke
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
