I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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