If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
time to smoke my breakfast
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
