that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
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