This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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