People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
