yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
