Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
