you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
