I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize