dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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