no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
