Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
