I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
