there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
