So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
