I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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