Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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