ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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