they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
