do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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