So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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