I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
