You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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