Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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