I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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