He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
