I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
