i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
