...so i touched it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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