She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
