so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
