My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
