hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The feeling are messing with the penis
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
