And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
