I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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