If i come over, it means nothing
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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