So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
