U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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