Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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