I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
