beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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