I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
