Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
