The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
