Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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