Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
