Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
