can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
