we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
