You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
