I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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