It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize
