Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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