tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
