zippers are such a cool invention
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
is it fun? or sober?
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