I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
